Two Zero One Four – my year

2014.  Where do I start?  We entered the year with dreams.  No big plans.  Just hopes and dreams.  We also had questions.  Where are we going in life?  What do we want to be doing?  Where do we want to be?  The last question was the most important to us.  We loved our life in Scotland.  I loved the way my photography was going.  I had been in business 2 years and the year ahead was looking pretty epic.  But was it enough.  Is it enough?  Can we settle here.  We watched the fireworks go off over the harbour bridge in Sydney on New Years Eve.  I remember it clearly.  The weather was wet and windy.  It had been since November.  It seemed like it was never going to end.  We watched Sydney bring in the New Year and that night when we celebrated with family I talked seriously for the first time that we might head back.  That I think we can do it.  We talked more and more over the next few days.  Can we do it…do we want to do it?  We knew the answer it was having the courage to do it and say YES!  As soon as we agreed we wanted to give it ago, we booked the flights.  No turning back.  No saying stuff and not making it happen.  We are the ruler of our destiny.  We control the future.  WE MAKE IT HAPPEN.  That was it.  We broke the news, some took it badly others were expecting it.  But mostly people were happy for us.  John and I had spent months at marriage counselling – this was the thing that suddenly made us realise that we were a team.  We were good together.  We make the best things in our life happen.  We work well.  We do love each other no matter what.  We no longer felt the need for outside help. We are meant to be together!

So we worked hard.  We had no money in January.  Honestly not a penny.  But we saved and worked hard. I photographed 80 children (mix of newborns, babies, toddlers – 25 were newborns) 25 weddings and organised moving our life to the other side of the world.  We travelled over Scotland when we could and even managed a trip to Spain for 6 days in between weddings.  Life was crazy.  Having noted all this down, I know understand why I felt burnt out.  Why I need to process the past year and take time to plan this year.  John was amazing.  Whatever I needed he was there.  I was stressed.  I cried.  I couldn’t sleep.  I was barely around for Oscar and Daisy and I carried an immense amount of guilt.  But as I write, I am sitting here in a bikini, doors open, sounds of the waves crashing on the shore and kids playing.  We are happy.  We have done it.  I wrote down my goals at the beginning of 2014 (I do it every year).  I look at them all and they were all achieved and more.

The summer holidays are coming to an end.  Life is about to get real.  Oscar and Daisy will both start school this week and I will have to find my place in a new city where no-one knows who I am.  I am starting from scratch with only a portfolio to prove my work.  But that is it.  It is exciting.  New dreams, new hopes, new ambitions.  I can’t say what I want for 2015.  I have it in my head and heart – but every day I write a new one down.  I am excited to get started…

This isn’t a post of my paid work like most photographers are doing.  This is my life in 12 months.  From the start of the year until yesterday with the happiest selfie of me and the youngling’s.   I am happy.  Very happy.  Life is for living not dreaming.  If you have dreams start today and make it happen.  I am living proof that you can.  xxx

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